if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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