Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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