so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
