we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
