me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
