you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
