using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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