hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
