Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
