Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
