Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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