We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
