Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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