I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
