so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Shame - the story of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
