nut hugger
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
