ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
