there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
