I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
