So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
