Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
