I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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