There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
