I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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