Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
