I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
