No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just want to make out with him forever
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have post one night stand depression
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
