grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You're like the curious george of whores
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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