Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
