we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
