Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
