O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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