I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
