I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
