Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
