My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it penis luge time yet?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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