Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
