I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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