He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize