Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
