Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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