They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
