she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
