We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just high enough for therapy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
