The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
