What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
