Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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