So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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