I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
