the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
