with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
