ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just pee around me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
