Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
