I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
